Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend…

From time to time I went out and looked at different cremation jewelry. I had my favorite sites that I found very trustworthy and looked at anything new that came along. Now after 20 months the thumbprint necklaces were available online for a much lower price—it figured. Everything came to the web sooner or later. While I was looking I came across a site that had man-made diamonds from ashes. I began looking at sites that make cremation diamonds.

Ashes are carbon and carbon makes diamonds. This process was discovered and perfected in Russia. In April, 2008, they expanded to the United States and settled in Pennsylvania. Man-made diamonds have been created for many years in the United States, but not from ashes. Anything other than a white or clear diamond was a man-made diamond. The new popular black, chocolate and champagne diamonds were all created by man. By using either hair or ashes, white, blue, red, green, yellow and orange diamonds could be created. There were three different shapes: brilliant-round, princess cut-square and radiant-rectangle. The ashes created diamond contained the essence of life as well as your most precious memories — thus making it the most unique, sentimental and cherished heirloom you could ever own.

Man created diamonds were quite simply, real diamonds that have been produced in a lab rather than those that occur naturally and mined out of the ground – there was no other difference in the chemical makeup. Both natural and man-made diamonds are made of the same material – nearly pure carbon, and the crystalline structure was very similar with differences only detectable using specialized instruments. In nature, diamonds are formed up to 200 kilometers below the earth’s surface.  They were created in conditions of intense heat and pressure and slowly, over thousands of years, they were carried to the surface by volcanic activity.

(Confessions of a Grieving Mother Blog)Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Today I have begun the process to have a diamond created. They mailed out the ashes container to me. Once they get the ashes they will begin my diamond. This process takes 70-75 days to complete once they get the ashes. Then they will place in it the setting I have chosen.  I will receive emails updating me with every step that my diamond is making. I figure that I will be receiving my new RING in April. How amazing is that??

Why make a diamond? Well, Heather loved diamonds. She loved any real gemstone like ruby, emerald, or sapphire, but especially diamonds. She wanted at least a 1-carat engagement ring. The one she really loved was 3-carats with the center diamond being a 2-carat, marquis cut stone. She loved to go jewelry looking to see the biggest diamonds she could find in the store. For birthdays beginning with her 14th birthday we began giving her “real” jewelry. The 1st ring I ever bought her was a ruby flower. The rubies were some of the best, clearest rubies I had ever seen. Special events like graduation included jewelry as well. I was building her collection.

Several years ago when Grandma Coombe died Heather stated that when I was cremated she was going to turn me into a pair of diamond earrings and wear me forever. She obviously had been looking online and found a place that created diamonds out of cremation ashes. I believe at the time she was looking at the place in Russia and the diamonds were very, very costly. But I am sure that Heather would have made me into those diamond earrings someday.

I have been struggling between colors of the “Heather” diamond I want to create. I was torn between red and blue. My first thought was red. Heather loved her Grandma Coombe’s red nails and loved to polish them. Red has always defined who she was; Minnie Mouse, red car, Target, clothes, lip stick, nails and even the dress she bought for her last Christmas party. Then I liked the blue because it reminds me of Heather’s eyes, her ball gown, her love of the ocean, her calm personality, the soft, loving side of her and blue shows the princess that she was.

I am proud to announce that I have chosen the Brilliant Red, ¾ carat diamond to be made with Heather’s ashes. This will be truly amazing. I am excited and thrilled with the coming of my new diamond. It will be graded and certified once it is cut. I will keep you updated as to how it is going.

The definition of the RED diamond: infuses deep pomegranate with a chameleon effect that change depending on the surrounding light conditions.  They are as personal, individual and unique as the lives they mirror.

I have learned that the real truth was that when I ventured out of my own circle there was very little understanding or compassion for anyone that had a child die. There was a lack of awareness and understanding among many that we as a society turn to, such as pastors, social workers, grief counselors and especially family and friends.

Most family and friends got their ideas from our society and the time we live in now. We were expected to “get on with our lives” and find “closure.” The horrors of 9/11, Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting and other tragedies forced us to look to politicians, journalists and television analysts to help us through these atrocities. Most all these people our society was looking towards had not experienced the death of a child and had no idea what they are speaking about. As a grieving mother I knew firsthand there was no sense or closure in the untimely death of a child.

As the months go by more and more people were wanting us to “get over” and “move on” after Heather’s death. We had lots of people suggest that Bill and I needed counseling and therapy. I did not want a therapist that had book knowledge. I knew they were very smart people and they had lots of experience. However, until you had a child die yourself you had no idea or clue what you were talking about. So, I wanted a counselor that had lost an older teen child. We could then see things eye to eye.

I would carry every detail of how Heather died throughout every day for the rest of my life. I would categorize all events as either “before” or “after” Heather died. Memories were all I had left. There was no clear path to go through life being a grieving mother. There was a path that took us from unbearable grief to the lifetime grief called “shadow grief.” This was the grief that I would carry with me forever, but had found a way to live with it.

“A heart can be broken,

But it will keep beating just the same”

~Fried Green Tomatoes~

Photo: The Diamond arrived on April 20, 2011. I ordered a 3/4 karat but it turned out to be a 1.24 Karat diamond with a tiny cloud flaw in the center. It is perfect

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