Permission to Grieve…


Permission to grieve is granted to

_____________(your name here)_______________

 I, __________, am hereby entitled to publicly acknowledge my loss, mourn openly, to share stories and recruit support in my own way and time, WITHOUT apology or embarrassment.

I, ___________, am given permission to cry in front of people if I choose to do so. Please acknowledge that it is okay that I miss my child very much.

It is okay for me to forgive myself, this was not my fault and there was nothing more I could do to save my child. A parent’s guilt is huge no matter the circumstances.

It is okay if I ask for help. Help could be seeing a movie, getting dinner, just simply listening to my stories about my child, or support me if I choose to seek professional help. This does not mean I am crazy.

I, __________, do not have to be sorry that others are uncomfortable with my tears and grief. They don’t understand because it has not happened to them. If my child’s name makes you uncomfortable—TOO BAD!! That is your issue not mine, please do not make me feel guilty that you cannot handle it.

Tears, memories, silence, anger, uncertainty, and strong emotions are hereby enfranchised.

It is okay that I hang a Christmas stocking for my child or remember my child’s birth and death day however I chose to. I have the right to do things different each and every time or to do it the same if the mood hits.

Please do not make me forget my child died when the rest of the world remembers children and others that have died in shootings, huge accidents or 9/11. My child was not famous, but just like the world stops to remember the news worthy deaths, my child’s death is just as real and just as painful for me.

Please treat __________ with kindness, compassion, and love.

This certificate is to be used over and over and over and has no expiration date!!

~Original work, published and copyrighted. This can be used with permission from the author. Photo is a blood drive held in Heather’s honor on her 24th birthday. A record number of units of blood were collected. We had people sign balloons and then her family and friends released them.

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